More than a year ago now, my mentor Anne-Marie Duchêne (of Art of Alignment) suggested I start something she called “chunking”.
Chunking basically consists of scheduling in iCal or a similar program nearly every hour of your day. Because you are making complete use of our time, you can clearly see that you are doing all that you can everyday. In this way, it can help you from feeling overwhelmed by all there is to do and helps you “get it all done”. It is especially useful if you live your life doing multiple things, have lots of goals, varied interests, are an entrepreneur, freelancer or similar profession.
In all transparency, I hated chunking for the first year I did it! I hated the fact that my calendar was bossing me around and deciding what I did with my time. Wasn’t the reason I was a freelancer because I did not want someone bossing me around, deciding how I spent my time? My ex-boyfriend also hated me using chunking and the drive it instilled in me. I actually think that is part of the reason he broke up with me. 🙂 I ended up feeling like a failure most of the time because I wasn’t “fulfilling” the schedule I had set and planned for myself.
Nonetheless, I continued chunking, continued scheduling my life in iCal for a whole year.
You may ask: “WHY?”. Why did I continue doing something I hated? Afterall, no one was forcing me. ….
Honestly, I’m not completely sure. I do know – I had faith and I had trust. I had deep faith about the power and brilliance of this task. I had deep trust in my mentor and myself who deep down saw the power and brilliance of this method, this simple action.
Then one day, I woke up and realized I LOVED chunking. I loved having a schedule that I had decided on and planned for myself. I loved getting up every morning and just doing my schedule.
It took me a full year to finally given in to my schedule. I had released my resistance.
In fact, I’ve realized the feelings of failure came from me resisting my chunking efforts so strongly.
I’ve realized that the Emily who creates my schedule is still me. Still deeply, totally and completely ME. And this Emily wants my highest good, wants my success, wants my happiness. She is not some maniacal, evil force who wants to control me and keep me constantly busy. She is ME, she is a part of me. And I love her. I accept her. I forgive her for pushing me. And I am more at peace with myself, my whole self, even the part of me which is so driven and will not accept no for an answer.
So, my wish for you is to find peace with yourself. To find the love and the joy and know everything will be alright because it is already.
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do”
~Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life
Lovely, Emily! The people who really love you will understand completely what you have experienced and have written here.People who don’t know their own inner “operating system” cannot effectively communicate with or help others. Great discovery, huh? Stay on track. It will pay big dividends down the road for you. <Bert3
Oh, thank you Bert! I really appreciate you commenting on my post. That is a great discovery, I also feel like it will pay big dividends in the long term. ❤