“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh #quote
Finally, I woke up and discovered that the little dark cloud which had been hovering over me these past few weeks had lifted. My little dark cloud was gone. I could sing. I could dance. I could finally be free. I think I had finally let go of everything.
Luckily, I also discovered that I hadn’t let my little dark cloud get in the way of progress. I didn’t let my little dark cloud stop me in my tracks. I had continued to make steps in my life…
Said yes to gifts and work. Asked questions. Asked for help. Said yes to opportunities. Danced. Worked. Wrote. Published blog posts. Interacted. Cried. Slept. Spent time with friends. Read The Artist’s Way. Started cleaning out my closet and life. Went to yoga class. Went to Franklin Method class. Got up every morning and embodied my subtalar joint. Wrote my morning pages. Took myself on artist dates. Spoke to myself with lovingkindness.
But most of all, I had been honest with myself – I knew I was in a dark little place but I didn’t let that stop me from seeing the light, even though I wasn’t in the light. I really didn’t know if light would ever be possible again. (Light is the best word I know to describe my normal experience with life, radiating abundant happiness and joy.)
I didn’t know if I’d ever feel that way again. Didn’t know if I’d ever be truly happy again. Didn’t know if I’d ever feel good again. Didn’t know if I’d ever feel joy again. Didn’t know if I’d ever be able to let go again…
The small, still voice inside me (God, the universe…) helped me know I needed to put one foot in front of the other. I knew I had to keep moving forward in and with my life. I knew I had to keep doing and being in my life. Doing and being the person I have discovered myself to be…
I work. I dance. I write. I share lovingkindness with myself and others. I care about my friends and family. I nurture my body and soul with dance, yoga, great conversations with my loved ones, BodyTalk, the Franklin Method… I go to coffee shops and church services. I inspire others and share myself.
During my time under my little dark cloud, I didn’t wait for my life to magically get better. But more simply, one day it did just that, it got better. It’s a bit like that famous saying in business and marketing, “It took me 10/20/30 years to be an overnight success”. People in business don’t just wait to be successful, they work at it every, single day, then suddenly years later they are successful.
So, yes my life magically got better. My life got better from an inner, deep place.
But at the same time, like those business men and women, I know this isn’t the end. There is much farther to go and I have to keep going, I have to continue putting one foot in front of the other. Life is a journey not a destination after all!
And that is what I hope for you, is that you keep going, keep moving, keep learning, keep growing…
With so much love, joy and newly found happiness – xo.
Emily Anton 